A Far Green Country

Yo, yo, yo, what up cyber space? Just cyber chillen like a villain in here. I've been thinking, "Dude, how can we ever expect post-modernism to embrace calvinsim, or what I prefer to call it, Biblicalism, with such irrelevant, stuffy terms as T.U.L.I.P? Cmon B, depravity, election, atonement, grace, perseverance - those terms are out like a gallon of expired milk is out my fridge, you know what I'm sayin?

So, I was like day-dreamin' bout this in Ethics, right - cuz payin attention in class is totally modernistic and "bad" old-school...it's dope to like, go you're own way, do your own thang, whatever speaks to your inner conscious the most. So there I was in the zone right, and I came up with a way for my post-modern peeps to follow along with what the Bible's screamin in a cool like jazz fashion. I call it "C" to the 5th power...or you may wanna call it C5, son.

Here it is:

Completely screwed up (Total depravity)

Chosen with my only qualification bein totally screwed up (Unconditional election)

Christ ain't no universalist, son! (Limited atonement)

Can't dis His grace, boyyyy! (Irresistible grace)

Christianity in you ain't stoppin even after your heart stops poppin (Perseverance of
the Saints)

Add up all the lines that start with C's and you get 5 of em, leading to the new, C5.

So long T.U.L.I.P, hello C5.

And don't forget to make Jesus your homeboy today.