What I Am Learning at the Alabama Baptist Convention
-Alcahol & Tabacco use (not just abuse) will send you to Hell
-We're okay with gluttony
-Dorothy & Paige - etertainment for hours
-The balcony is yours if you want it bad enough
-The ultimate purpose of life is evangelism, not worship, not God
-Poo in the balcony will melt if it's hot enough
-Ear wax finds its way onto pen tops
-Chik-Fil-A now serves chicken flavored human hair
-Baptists have amazing, gravity-defying hair
-I should never, ever, ever, ever complain about my church again
-If you're under the age of 91 you're looked at with suspicion
-The terms Gospel, worship, glory, and God all mean different things to different people
-Grace is not irresistible
-Sausage is not in Scripture & you can eat it during Lent
-Mars is probably similar to SBC state convention atomospheres
-You can actually fit & sleep under pews at Hunter Street (observation)
-Depression is caused by conventions which leads to delirium
-Story telling & joke telling & chicken soup for the soul are paramount
-Some people use your tithe & cooperative money for plastic surgery
-Others use it for a lifetime membership at the tanning bed
-Others still use it for cuff links and teeth whitener and hair spray
-If you don't give your church money to liberal Baptist colleges you get blackballed
-I'm convicted to remain SB until God remove me or SB kick me out
-The national convention suddenly doesn't seem so terrible any more
-In spite of all the insanity, you have an incredible time with your friends, & you get blessed
-We're okay with gluttony
-Dorothy & Paige - etertainment for hours
-The balcony is yours if you want it bad enough
-The ultimate purpose of life is evangelism, not worship, not God
-Poo in the balcony will melt if it's hot enough
-Ear wax finds its way onto pen tops
-Chik-Fil-A now serves chicken flavored human hair
-Baptists have amazing, gravity-defying hair
-I should never, ever, ever, ever complain about my church again
-If you're under the age of 91 you're looked at with suspicion
-The terms Gospel, worship, glory, and God all mean different things to different people
-Grace is not irresistible
-Sausage is not in Scripture & you can eat it during Lent
-Mars is probably similar to SBC state convention atomospheres
-You can actually fit & sleep under pews at Hunter Street (observation)
-Depression is caused by conventions which leads to delirium
-Story telling & joke telling & chicken soup for the soul are paramount
-Some people use your tithe & cooperative money for plastic surgery
-Others use it for a lifetime membership at the tanning bed
-Others still use it for cuff links and teeth whitener and hair spray
-If you don't give your church money to liberal Baptist colleges you get blackballed
-I'm convicted to remain SB until God remove me or SB kick me out
-The national convention suddenly doesn't seem so terrible any more
-In spite of all the insanity, you have an incredible time with your friends, & you get blessed
